Jennifer was so angry she could scream. In fact she did. She took herself for a walk to the lake and screamed as loudly as she could. She ranted and raved and sobbed at the unfairness of her life. How dare he do this to her? Who does he think he is anyway?
As she calmed down a little, the thought came that his affair wouldn’t last. He was just going through some sort of midlife crisis.
It’s not like he’s that great a catch.
I’m sure she will tire of him and he’ll come back with his tail between his legs. He will soon realise how good he had it with me, then everything can go back to the way it was. She would be strong and wait for him to come to his senses, she decided.
Because she was upset, Jennifer couldn’t think straight and rather than face the change and accept the loss of her marriage, she chose to believe her husband would come back. She was so wrapped up in her own feelings she couldn’t see the truth that their relationship was over. In fact, it had been over for some time, she had just failed to recognise it.
When reality starts to seep into your consciousness, you may begin to feel angry, fearful and try to bargain with your partner. A sense of desperation can set in and you find yourself begging your partner to change his mind. You make promises you cannot keep, all in an attempt to avoid the reality of your situation, and as you do so, you despise yourself for who you have become.
Your anger grows and you blame your partner for reducing you to behaviours you don’t respect, that you vowed never to stoop to. In your anger you may tell everyone who will listen how hard done by you are. ‘Look at what he has done to me’! You may even go further and cut up his clothes, pour paint on his car or turn your children against him by telling them all about the so-called ‘bad’ things he has done to you. This behaviour continues to feed your anger until you lose yourself in emotions that destroy the real you. You forget how to be anyone but this embittered woman who nobody likes however sorry they feel for you.