How many times have you made a New Year’s Resolution with all the determination that this year will be different from every other? You stand straighter, you speak with so much authority and in every way, it appears you mean every word.
And yet, despite all your motivation in the moment in just a short time, things look pretty much the way they always have. Time seems to passes by and before you know it, you are starting to believe that you have failed. A little voice in your head tells you that you are never going to achieve your goals and that you might as well give up now and save yourself the heartache.
The key to unlocking the power of your mind is to start creating new thoughts, words and actions. Nothing will change if you just say a few words but don’t do anything differently. You need the dedication of your desires to overcome the habits of a lifetime. Its taken your whole life to get to here; a lifetime of doing the same thing and getting the same result.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result – Albert Einstein
So, to get a different result, you must do things differently!
Your mind controls your actions so in truth, it’s your mind you need to change. Not on the outside (conscious level) but on the inside (unconscious level). You need to alter the habitual thinking that has shaped your life so far through repetition. If your life has been created by your repetitive thoughts then surly it can be recreated in the same way?
These 7 Rules, if you apply them every day, have the power to transform your life from the inside out.
Make Peace With Your Past So It Won’t Screw Up The Present
Making peace with your past is all about you. It has nothing to do with the actions of anyone else but involves your decision to stop letting things that have happened previous to this moment rule your life. The hurt, the blame, the sadness, the betrayal and despair are only alive in your life today because you have brought them with you. They no longer exist in the here and now and are therefore already gone. It is only when you choose to carry them with you that you continue to feel them.
“Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” – Bil Keane
Why live in the past when you can live free of any baggage and embrace today? The present is a gift that you must unwrap to experience … the choice is yours!
What Others Think Of You Is None Of Your Business
We all look at the world through eyes which have been shaped by our experiences, the ideas and interpretations of those who have been our biggest influences. Its like putting on a pair of glasses and seeing a distorted image in front of you.
There are many photo altering software programs in the market place that you can use to change the proportions of your face and body but before the digital age, you could look at yourself in wavy glass or the car door and see a distortion. It can be shocking as it takes a minute for your brain to understand that the contours of the reflective surface are creating a distortion. In the same way, the contours of your understanding shape your view of the world and more importantly, your view of yourself.
Its important to understand those people who are judging you are not even seeing you. They are simply seeing a distortion of their own thoughts and ideas projected on to you. Their perceptions have nothing to do with you so why would you take them on as truth?
The only perceptions that shape your world are yours.
Time Heals Almost Everything – Give It Time
When something changes, our expected reality alters which often leaves us off balance. You need time to allow your heart and mind to catch up with each other. Stay focused on the moment you are in and allow yourself time to adapt to a new state of ‘normal’. As you build new memories and experiences upon the old, your life will naturally take a different path.
Be kind to yourself and allow the adjustments to take the time they take. Acknowledge a loss, appreciate the gift of that experience and then blow a kiss and let it float away on the breeze. If your loss is still painful then set yourself a few minutes each day to remember and then put it from your mind until the next day. In this way, you can find a balance between what you have lost and what still remains. Living in the present is the only way to leave the past behind.
Don’t Compare Your Life To Others And Don’t Judge Them
With the rise in social media, people put so much of their lives out in the public domain that it can appear that everyone is having more fun than you! From the outside, it can look like everyone’s life is perfect except yours. But people will only show you what they want you to see and in every case there is more going on than is obvious. We all have heartache, experience loss, and things never run perfectly smoothly. If someones life appears perfect then take the time to see beneath the surface as perhaps they have learned how to manage their emotions, fears and pain and could have something to teach you.
Regina Brett — ‘If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.’
Our brain is like a filing system that has a need to categorise the things we see and experience. Unfortunately this often includes the people we meet. Our brain measures what you think you see against your previous ideas and experiences and naturally makes connections between the two. However, what you see at first glance usually has almost nothing to do with the truth.
It takes practice but you can train your brain to take a second, third or even a fourth look before placing a label on someone. Count to ten, breathe and take a moment to step back from your immediate viewpoint. Remove your distorted glasses and look again – things are never as they first appear …..
Don’t Think So Much
How many times have you found yourself obsessing or worrying about something and feeling anxious? That anxiety has nothing to do with the situation but is created by your fear of the unknown. If we look again at the way our brain likes to categorise things, then when something is uncertain we have a natural tendency to try to put some parameters around it and ‘file’ it somewhere. We have a need for certainty to maintain balance.
Learning to let things unfold without the need for control comes easily for some people and feels almost impossible for others. Whilst we like to think we can dictate the outcome of events, the truth is that things happen in a heartbeat to change our most carefully constructed plans.
“Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t there in the first place”
Some of the best experiences in life are the ones that come unexpectedly. A surprise. If you are busying your brain and filling your body with stress hormones, you will miss the chance to discover something new, something wonderful or perhaps something that will forever alter your view of the world around you and the people in it.
Nobody Is In Charge Of Your Happiness Except You
Our society is filled with messages that tell us who we have to be, what we have to own and how we should live our lives. These messages set us up to think that unless we conform to this ideal we are somehow lacking, that we are not enough. Please remember that these messages are designed to get us to spend money, to work hard in a job and to make us strive for more success despite the cost.
Happiness is not found in money, a relationship or prestige but within your heart and soul.
A television documentary I watched a couple of years ago had a profound affect on my understanding of happiness. The reporter was following a village in India where the families scavenged in a rubbish dump for things to sell in order to survive. For anyone who lives in comfort and sends their children to school for an education, the image of children working in amongst other people’s rubbish and accosted by flies was shocking.
But the most incredible aspect was that when the day was done, these people returned to their homes, dressed in bright colours and laughed and danced with their neighbours. Their happiness was not dependent on where they worked or what they owned but on their spirit within. They chose to be happy and this is the secret.
You can choose to be happy no matter what is going on around you. Deep down in your soul you are already happy, fulfilled and joyful so all you need to do is remember who you are.
Smile – You Don’t Own All The Problems Of The World
Its easy to look at the state of the world, the suffering of millions and feel sad. And it is sad that so many live in comfort whilst so many others are struggling in poverty, disease and conflict. But when you compare your life with theirs, you are not looking at life through their eyes but through your own. It would be wonderful to think that everyone could enjoy the same standard of living, that nobody would go hungry and that war would end.
But each of us are responsible for our own happiness and even in the midst of what we see as desperate circumstances, people find their own way to cope and to find joy. The one sided view we are shown is not the complete truth and just like we find a way to live despite loss, sadness and despair, so too do others.
We live in a world of opposites. For every tall there is short; for every cold there is hot and for every poor there is rich. You may wish it was different but there is nothing you can do to change the current balance of the world. If you wish to donate or help in some way then do so. But do not assume that you have any understanding of the lives of others.
Focus instead upon your own life and create happiness, joy and kindness where you are. Be a light that shines in your own little corner of the world. If we all did that, we could light the whole universe.