5 Ways To Avoid Bitterness

Written by Allanah Hunt


Bitterness comes when you focus on what’s gone wrong and feelings of hurt. The problem with bitterness is that you can live your whole life seeing the world as a hurtful place which is out to get you. This isn’t the truth but simply a reflection of how you choose to see it. The world is full of wonderful people, fabulous experiences but you will only embrace this when you leave bitterness behind.

Here’s a few ways to get started.

Forgive Everyone Who Has Hurt You 

We often confuse forgiveness with an acceptance of the words or behaviour which caused the pain but forgiveness has nothing to do with allowing others to hurt you or giving permission for the behaviour to continue. Creating clear and strong boundaries is essential if you are to have a life of happiness.

Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behaviour. Forgiveness prevents their behaviour from destroying your heart

Forgiveness is a choice you make for you. It has nothing to do with anyone else and everything to do with your desire to be free of the past, to move beyond the pain and to embrace a new perspective. Holding on to your feelings of betrayal, anger and hurt is to allow the hurtful actions of another to continue to impact your life.

Don’t you think being hurt once is enough?

Focus On Gratitude

Bitterness grows when you focus on the hurt you feel and therefore the fastest way to reduce bitterness is to focus on the things you love about your life. Start with the little things. Focus on the roof over your head, kind friends, family, your job or simply the sun outside your window. As you shift your focus to things to be thankful for, you will start to see more reasons to love your life.

Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have

Bitterness and gratitude cannot exist together so focus on thankfulness and see your bitterness disappear.

Take Responsibility For Your Feelings

When you blame others for the events which occur in your life you become jaded and untrusting. Whilst events will occur around you which will impact on your life, blaming someone or something leaves you powerless to create your own life. It is only when you understand you are responsible for your own emotions and actions, that you have a choice about how you feel, that you will begin to reclaim your power.

The day you stop blaming others is the day you begin to discover who you truly are

You will not feel hurt unless you choose to bring those feelings into your present life. Taking this first step will help you move forward with your own life free of the pain of the past.

Take Control Of What You Can Change

If you look at the world long enough you will see many cases of destruction, chaos, corruption and devastation. No matter how angry or sad you feel about this there is nothing you can do to change it.

What you allow is what will continue

All you can do is take control of your own life and build happiness where you are. As you create happiness in yourself you have the opportunity to spread this to your little corner of the world. Change what you can and allow everything else to run its course.

Give To Others

Bitterness builds when we feel isolated and powerless. Decide to get involved in the world around you by volunteering to help others. Give unwanted clothing to a charity, visit an elderly person in your community, encourage others to make real connections and support people who are having a tough time.

We rise by lifting others

Offer your unique skills to help others and watch your bitterness disappear. As you help others you help yourself.

Bitterness is like drinking poison every day. Stop killing yourself slowly and choose this minute to focus on what is great about your life. Focus on giving yourself the kindness you deserve.

About the author

Allanah Hunt

Allanah Hunt is an author and founder of Power And Freedom where she works to encourage people to reclaim their personal power and create a life of freedom and joy. Your past does not dictate your future unless you allow it to!

“It is only as you take responsibility for your life that you discover just how powerful you truly are” – Allanah Hunt


  • This is such a terrific question, Allanah: “Don’t you think being hurt once is enough?” It really gets to the point and shows how we keep hurting ourselves again and again by choosing to be bitter. Thanks for this encouragement.

  • Hello Allanah..your quote “The day you stop blaming others is the day you begin to discover who you truly are” says it all for me. Love the other quotes you use too. 🙂

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